I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
