I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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