chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
