Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
