so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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