I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
