i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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