tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
