we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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