I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
it's like heaven, but drunker
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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