he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
