i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
