he wants to bone in the snuggie
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
