from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
