Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
