The maid of honor just puked.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
