jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
