oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
operation harelip BJ is a go
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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