Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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