I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
