just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
