Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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