is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize