But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
bring money and cleavage
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
