im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I party with great urgency now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
