i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
