Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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