you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
