Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
