I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
