just come out here and I will go home with you...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
