I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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