I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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