the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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