Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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