Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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