if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
