Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
