i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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