I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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