i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
