She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
