K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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