Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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