He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
