He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
