I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
