I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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