Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
