Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
