So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
