paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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