I hate all girls vehemently.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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