he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
