so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
