How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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