I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
