I will die if light touches me.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize
