I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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