The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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