We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
